Monday, October 25, 2010
You can continue to expect a post about each person that I’m close to in my life, and today I want to write about my big sis – Raylene. Rahleeeene Ricketts…
She is five years older than me and when my parents got divorced she ended up staying with my dad. I remember as a little girl I thought she was so cool (and still do). When we look at letters we used to write each other, we crack up. I think these letters began when I was eight-years old and probably went until I was eleven or so. First of all, I could not spell and obviously had no idea what grammar was and second, I would write things like OZZY RULES, LED ZEPPELIN #1, and BLACK SABBATH ROCKS! I didn’t even know their music; I just knew she had their albums. Still cracks me up to this day.
I think as a little girl you always look up to your older sisters. You watch what they do, how they dress, what they like, etc. The one thing that always stood out to me about Raylene (beside her rock style ways) was her deep compassion. She was and is always so thoughtful and giving. If it’s something she has and you need it, it’s yours. It could be clothes, money, advice, whatever it is, she’s right there.
When my dad got diagnosed with a brain tumor, she essentially never left his side. She would visit him often and even towards the very end of his life, she was always sitting right beside his bed. She was always there. Each sister dealt with it in their own way, and there is no right or a wrong, but when I think about how she was right there up until the bitter end; it just reminds me of the person she really is.
You will never hear her talk about who she is or boast about what she does because it’s simply not her. Everything is done with a quiet confidence and a certain ease. She likes to laugh and have fun and she’s not the type to get into any drama (unlike me) she just keeps to herself. However, she is a LEO so do not make the mistake of crossing her. Leo’s are the monarch's among humans as the lion is king of beasts. She may be wise, independent, and thoughtful but don’t forget she is very courageous and she can bite! That’s also the Italian in her too! :)
Another thing that I admire is how people attract to her. We have a joke in the family and we always say…Everyone loves Raylene! Kids love her, animals love her and even complete strangers love her. It’s funny, no matter where she goes people adore her and they always talk to her. Her energy is so welcoming and nurturing and I think people sense that instantly.
After a complicated history she finally gave birth to her son, Kaden. I was lucky enough to witness that, but also a bit traumatized. She was too far along to get an epidural and she had to have him without any drugs. Not sure I will ever forget the look of pain on her face, or even how brave she was. I would have been crying or punching people if I was in that situation, yet the way she handled it was such a testament to her inner strength. Every excruciating push led to this beautiful soul and big shining light – everyone LOVES him! She is such a wonderful mommy and she always has a special connection to all children –that inspires me the most about her. I think she should have more babies, adopt or be around children all of the time - she has the power to shape and enrich any young life!
I wrote a poem about her years ago and it’s still her today…
What is in that name so sweet?
A person who listens and is so easy to greet
Everyone loves her and calls her by name
Touched by her spirit, you won’t feel the same
She brings laughs and smiles and cheer so bright
Walks into the room and is surrounded by light
She shows her love by giving and sharing
Her passionate nature is nothing but caring
She is wise and quiet and her thoughts she protects
And only uses herself to learn and regret
She stood on her own and I admire her will
The older sister role she will entirely fill
Her strength and sadness still lies within
And that is her choice, not a gift or a sin
She may have felt alone, or had some empty years
Now I’m so grateful she knows her family is there
She will bring your laughter straight into tears
She will listen and help you with your fears
She has the power to repair and to guard
Raylene is a flower in nature’s magical yard
Thursday, October 14, 2010
My goal was to post a reality check every 25 days, but I got excited about other stories and I just kept missing my mark. I don’t think it makes a difference either way; I was just trying to keep some consistency. Although, since I’m reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, I’m learning that living in the “now” is all there really is. So I’m going to post when the urge arises and right now, I feel the urge.
The purpose of my reality posts is for readers to see what’s transpiring for me as I tap into my writing passion. As I said before, I have no idea what kind of path this blog is going to lead me down, but I have noticed one major shift already -my day job. I’ve been in Communications and Marketing for years now and I’ve written a lot of material for different clients, but it’s always been a mix. Sometimes the job includes client relations, sales, or planning events and I decided to look for a position that is only seeking a writer (copywriter, blogger, etc). I won’t settle for anything less. I’ll let you know when I find it.
This will probably sound strange, but every time I sit down and write a story and then post it, I’m reminded each time how much I love it. It’s not that I forget; it’s just that I recognize how strong the emotions are around it. I guess that’s a good indicator for passion. It’s funny, I get emails from different people thanking me for my posts or for motivating them and it’s hard for me to process that. I know that I’m personally motivated by other people's stories and I know that I purposely include my thoughts and tips, but I guess it’s hard for me to recognize my actual impact. I’m sure that’s a lot deeper than anyone would care to think about, but I think “rawness” is what ultimately helps other people.
I noticed that my pageviews and feeds have increased with every post. Yet, one thing I’m really working on is this…
In The Power of Now Eckart states, “Do not be concerned with the fruit of your action – just give attention to the action itself. The fruit will come of its own accord… The moment your attention turns to the NOW, you feel a presence, stillness, a peace. You no longer depend on the future for fulfillment and satisfaction – you don’t look to it for salvation. Therefore, you are not attached to the results. Neither failure nor success has the power to change your inner state of Being. You have found the life underneath your life situation.”
I love this stuff! I don’t think it’s easy, but I think its truth. Everyone should read this book!
Another thing I’ve noticed since I started this blog…. When I’m out and about I’ve been meeting some very inspirational people and I’m not even looking, they’re just there. It’s most likely because of what my focus has been on, but it’s still very cool. I’m thinking that if we all pay attention to a person’s essence and not what they look like, how they dress, car they drive, job they have, etc. we would notice many, many more things. It gives us room to observe the “realness” the “being” but it’s hard to see behind years of societal teachings.
I was out to dinner with a few friends recently and they gave me some suggestions about what I could do with my writing. In fact, we all went around the table and shared what each of us would be doing if we were living our true passion. I could see the look on their faces when they expressed it and it was a clear reminder that everyone should just do what they love. It may take awareness first, but ultimately, it will take overcoming fears. I don’t care what anyone says, it’s never too late. Ever!
I think my experiences, this blog, this book, and other things have led me to a mini awakening. :) There is more to go, but I feel closer. I’m not exactly sure to what, but my intuition is telling me something...
Friday, October 1, 2010
I was going to write a reality post this week and provide an update on what’s been going on for me since my last reality post. However, after this week’s recent developments there was no way in hell my story was going to beat this. :)
My brother-in-law was separated from his mother and his sister when he was a very young boy. There are so many details of this story that I do not feel comfortable to share (because it’s not mine to share), but I will say he definitely did not have an easy life. There were many times I heard him speak of this loss and I knew he always longed to find his family and be reunited with them.
Growing up with such a large family and being so close to my family, I cannot even begin to image what that would feel like. So I guess I won’t even try…
It was Monday night around 7:04pm to be exact and I was cooking dinner. I got word that his sister found him on Facebook and then I burnt my dinner. I couldn’t believe it and I instantly had tears of joy. I knew how important this was for him and I was just filled with happiness. They had been looking for each other for over 30-years and they finally found each other. I was overwhelmed with emotion, so again, I can’t even imagine what it was like for all of them.
There were email exchanges, phone calls, pictures being sent and I even emailed the sister. She was so grateful for my sister and for our family. I told her we loved him and he is part of our family and we would absolutely welcome theirs too. She was so thankful and so sweet!
This whole experience was a reminder for me on how the little things really don’t matter. How people can carry deep wounds forever, but can begin to heal with the re-connection of love and family. It doesn't really matter what the situation is, I think it just has a universal power.
Soon, his family will be coming up to visit and they can actually hold each other again. Even as I write this it feels surreal, but I know it will be a beautiful reunion.
One day he told me that he never saw a picture of himself when he was a little boy...and now he finally can.
My sister said it best, “We love you Facebook!”